Every mile a memory..

hey hey everyone!

 

The last time we talked, or I guess I did all the talking & you read, I was doing a year in review for myself. & I said I was going to try and write once a month & yeah that failed. Lol, it’s not like I didn’t have the time to, I just didn’t have the words. So with that being said, I’m kind of going to jump backwards & tell you something I did when I turned 20 & then come back to this year. & if you know me, you know I don’t always finish a complete thought without thinking about something else. So we will see where this goes. I hope y’all can enjoy.

 

Jumping back to before I turned 20, I made a list. I named the list “20 things Jess wants to accomplish in her 20’s”. Why? Because I’ve always been a goal setter, dream chaser, & I love traveling & seeing new things. I think that sometimes we get so caught up in everyday life whether it be school or work. You forget to take time out of your life to enjoy yourself. & you can’t deny it. I know & have seen it first hand in the harness racing business.. Example, my father, growing up he missed a lot of things going on because he was always racing and had a barn of anywhere from 15-30 horses. But, he does take 1 week a year to go to Florida, everyone deserves a vacation. Okay back to the list, there’s a little bit of everything on here & over the past year there have been many things I’ve wanted to add to it, but i decided to stay with my original list. So here’s the list:

  1. Graduate with bachelors
  2. Go to Las Vegas
  3. Go on a cruise
  4. Travel to a different country across the world
  5. Have a career & buy a house
  6. Get trainers license
  7. Go to Grand Canyon/ Horse Shoe Bend, AZ
  8. Explore Oneonta Gorge, Oregon
  9. Swim with the dolphins
  10. Visit Watkins Glen State Park, New York
  11. Visit Washington D.C.
  12. Be in Nashville during Music festival
  13. Get a tattoo
  14. Try the whole relationship thing
  15. Purchase a new Jeep
  16. Get an award
  17. Go up in a hot air balloon
  18. Meet Luke Glendening
  19. Go to Hollywood & stand under the sign
  20. Be HAPPY

There is no certain order to this list. I just want to accomplish it before I turn 30. Who knows if it will happen, so far THIS YEAR I’ve been able to cross off a few things, so let’s get to it:

January:

January was a bit of an odd month. Other than school I didn’t really do much I just tried to focus on myself and find my happiness again, which mind you is harder than you think. I am not saying I hate life or myself. I am saying that I was in a dark spot while dealing with somethings and I lost myself in the experience of it.  I was officially diagnosed with an “anxiety disorder” in which my doctor tried me on a few different medications to help me & they all made me extremely sick. Like unbearable pains in my stomach, I wouldn’t eat, would get sick, couldn’t function as a human, could hardly get out of bed. It was like absolutely horrible & I never want to experience it ever again. So with that being said, they still haven’t found the right kind of medication for me. Anywho, on January 20th I attended the 2017 Michigan Harness Horsemens banquet, where I received the “Appreciation” award. I was so humbled, honored, thankful, & grateful to be able to receive this award. Michigan has taken a huge decline over the years, I’ve seen & experienced it first hand. & there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to get it back to even half of what it use to be. It’s truly heartbreaking. But, the people from Michigan, my home, will always be my people, the outpouring love, care, & support I get from everyone to follow my dreams is simply uplifting and those people aren’t just from Michigan they are from everywhere. I have been so lucky to meet people across North America over the years in my travels, each and every one of you have put an impact on my life.  To put into words how thankful I am is impossible. So for that matter a thank you is line for those who nominated me, those who thought I deserved the award, thank you to those who congratulated me, & thank you to those who helped me get the award, to help me get where I am at today & continue to be by my side & push me to better myself. You are all amazing people & I am grateful to have each & every single one of you in my life.

Moving on to February..

Most of my friends on social media saw I went to Vegas to celebrate my 21st birthday, thee ultimate birthday party let me just tell you. Las Vegas was simply amazing, so beautiful there. People hear Las Vegas they think gambling & drinking but this girl had way more fun touring all of the hotels & casinos & seeing all the beautiful scenery. Waterfalls, flowers, malls, roller coasters, stamped cement, & street shows. The list goes on & my crazy horse freak self was able to go hiking in the mountains with wild horses. & explore the mountains. Absolutely breathtaking. I think from time to time we often forget to take a step back, a break, & just look at what’s in front of us, Nature. God’s creation is so beautiful. I was very fortunate enough to have my grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, 2 of my very close friends Theresa & Mariah & also 2 of my cousins from New York; Catherine & Donald join me on the trip, it was filled with nothing but laugher & fun. Seriously a trip to remember & I will definitely being going back!

Ahhhh… March..

Started off this month with a bang, my dude, Navy Lieutenant pulled through with a win. & an impressive one at that. & the reason I am mentioning this is because this horse as come such a long way, he had so many complications my dad wanted to get rid of him so many times, but I convinced him not to, to keep him & let me get him back to the races & that’s what I did. & he has improved tremendously. Gives 110% every time he steps on the race track, sure there are weeks where he doesn’t get a good trip or drive, but he

loves his job & has truly helped me develop into a better groom because of all the curve balls he’s thrown. As long as he’s safe & sound… I’m smiling. Another part of my life I am going to add to this month, is personal. & I am by NO mean sharing this because I want someone to feel sorry for me, think I want attention, or look at me differently. To me it’s another obstacle life has thrown at me & there may be someone out there who reads this & is going through something similar to me & we can get through it together or reach out to each other for advice. Since I was a freshman in high school I’ve always had trouble eating. Side note, I DO NOT starve myself & I DO NOT make myself sick after I eat to lose weight. But when I do eat my stomach gets very upset, there are sometimes I do get sick, other times I get feel horrible after I eat and have to go lay down right away. & if you know me or have ever been out to eat with me you notice I don’t eat much… some say I eat like a bird lol. I have seen a number of specialist at U of M & they told me my stomach was just smaller than someone my age. If that’s true or not I’m not sure. I am not going to go through & give you all the details because well that would just take too long. Anywho.. I had a check up at my doctor to try & figure out an anxiety medication that would help me & not make me sick. He had noticed the weight loss I have been having.. again this is not on purpose. He had diagnosed me with an “eating disorder” because of the low in take on food & constant weight loss. I myself do not believe I have an eating disorder, I eat when I’m hungry. Who cares if it isn’t a lot. & if it’s literally chicken & noodles everyday, at least I am eating. Okay moving on. Towards the end of the month I decided one day I was going to get a tattoo. So sure enough I made a tattoo appointment for the next day. Now, funny story.. I’m what 21 now & until I was 19 I made my mom go with me to get a shot because I am TERRIFIED of a needle going into my body. Horses, doesn’t bother me, shit I can give a shot. But when you stick a needle into a human, I’m out lmao! So when I was going to get this tattoo I was like all freaked out, but being 100% honest, it did not hurt as bad as I thought it was going to, sure it hurt at times but it wasn’t bad at all. & yes I had someone there to hold my hand, ahah Side note- I would never get a tattoo if it didn’t mean anything & there will be tattoos down the road I get, but they will all have meaning & won’t be huge & all over my body. This tattoo says “strength” & it is above my pant line next to my hip. Why the word strength? Here is why- it’s a reminder to me, to be strong through anything life throws at me. I recently went through something that completely tore me apart. & I still have trouble with it. & it’s something I’d rather not go into detail about, so I’m not. But I will say, for the sake of myself I had to be strong through it. Even if there were more days than not that I felt like I was drowning on the inside. Without strength you can’t say no to something you do want to do, you can’t say yes to doing something new that you may want to do but have been scared to do. Strength through the hard times, the good times, the bad times, the sad times, & the happy times. Now- if you’re like my father, Pete he now says it’s like me sumo wrestling name.. smh that’s Pete for ya! Lol!

What will April bring?

Well I am currently writing this on a plane, on my way home from Florida. I left 80 degree weather to go home to snow so that I can make it to class tomorrow. I’m either smart for going to school or dumb for leaving the warm weather. Lol! So this month I am majorly focusing on my health, because it’s the most important thing right now. It doesn’t just affect my everyday life currently, but if I don’t get it under control it will affect me many years down the road. I am also going to be spending a lot of time packing up to move to Indiana for the summer to go back to work for Pete & Melanie Wrenn, such awesome people for work for! & that also means summer is coming. Thank… god! I can’t handle much more of winter! Also

So over the past three months I crossed off 3 things on my list: Get an award, go to Las Vegas, & get a tattoo. Last year I also experienced “the try the whole relationship thing” but I’m not going to cross it off my list because I’m sure when I’m ready, whenever that may be, I’ll want to experience it again… lol. Although the other day I said if Zac Efron wasn’t my next boyfriend I was going to be alone the rest f my life. LMAO I said that, but I was so kidding.

I hope if you read this, you enjoyed it & were maybe able to take something from it. I promise it won’t be so long until you hear from me again! LOL! & to  ALL that took time to read this & even if you didn’t & get skipped the end & those who didn’t even read it won’t know it, I hope you are doing well!

Ooooooh! One more thing for my friends that are all over the place! Post Time with Mike and Mike has released the 2018 live remote schedule! Hop over to their website to check it out! We are coming to a track near you and we can not wait to get the season underway!

 

Until next time friends, keep smiling!

 

God bless

 

Love always

-jess